It's been a while since I've written on this blog !
And I realise this week, that I've only write 2 articles in 2009 on this blog !
Great year it was......or not ! :@
Anyway, 2009 is over and this early on the new year, we can still hope that it'll be better than the one that just ended !
And I'm, without doubt, part of this "we" .
Not that 2009 was THAT bad but there are not loads of dates I'll remember.
New year is kinda the time to think about what happened and what 'll happen and how things are in your life.
And I have to say that I'm not quite happy with my life.
I have a job, that I realise I don't really like,
I have a flat that have as many good points than bad points,
I have friends, that live too far away from me,
I have a body and face I hate,
I have many problems I can't live with.
I should probably go see a therapist because it's really getting to hard to handle.
I've always had problems, but the more I'm growing up and the worst they're getting.
Probably because I've try to put them aside, and forget about them but I can't do it anymore.
They're getting bigger, harder and more painful !!
If I want to get better and to start living a "normal life", I really need to do something.
I can't do anything about my job because it's probably the only job I could get, so I'm stuck with it, as I need money.
I have to see if I'm doing something about my flat but finding a good one, and moving out, again, won't be easy.
So I definitvly need to do something about my "problems".
Some of you already know that my physical health is getting worse aswell, and if my mental health is not healing aswell, I'm gonna do something I may regret later.
This article sounds quite depressing, and it is, in a way.
But as with my physical problems, I'm living with my mental problems for so long that I'm getting used to them.
But my mind, just as my body not so long ago, have enough and is trying to find ways to show me it.
My body and my mind are rebelling, can you believe it???
I'm smiling while writing this blog, because,d espite everything I've just write, I know that, being aware of your problems and the fact that you need help, is a big step .
It may take a long time until I get the courage to go to a therapist (I've been to many in my life and I don't really have good memories of it) but I really want to get better.
I don't know how but I'm gonna find a way !
I've kinda lost contact with some people I get close to the last few years and I regret it but the memories are still here and will never be forgotten.
I know that it'll probably never be the same again, but hopefully some people still think about me and like me! :)
Cet article est un peu confus et sans doute avec pas mal de fautes mais voilà, je voulais l'écrire!
Bonne année à tous!

